Freddie Mercury said it first:
When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear,
One thousand and one yellow daffodils
Begin to dance in front of you – oh dear.
Are they trying to tell you something?
You’re missing that one final screw?
You’re simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you haven’t got a clue.
I’m going slightly mad.
I’m going slightly mad.
It finally happened – happened
It finally happened – ooh oh.
It finally happened – I’m slightly mad,
Oh dear.
I’m one card short of a full deck,
I’m not quite the shilling,
One wave short of a shipwreck,
I’m not my usual top billing.
I’m coming down with a fever,
I’m really out to sea,
This kettle is boiling over,
I think I’m a banana tree.
OK – I don’t think I’m a banana tree, but I may be going slightly mad. (Or just getting old.) This morning I visited my parents and stopped at Trader Joe’s for milk. Of course, a stop for milk could mean you forget to buy the milk but get lots of other things instead. I did remember the milk, however, and amongst the other items, I got new grocery bags. The old ones were wearing out, believe it or not. Or else they were missing. So I stuck the new ones in a bag with groceries, came home, and found an envelope and package on the front porch, which I brought in along with the groceries.
I listened to phone messages first, returned two calls to people who wanted to rent the cabin, and remembered the groceries. So I went and put the milk away with the other cold items and began to wonder where the new grocery bags were. Oh no, I must have left a bag in the car. Nope. Uh-oh, it was in the shopping cart still. Or still in the store maybe.
I hunted down the receipt so I could call Trader Joe’s and say which items were missing, and I do mean hunted down. Where had I put it? I found it just where I should have put it – that was a minor miracle. I ran down the items and realized nothing was missing. But where were the bags? Truly, it took me a while to figure out that the bags were actually on the kitchen counter. I simply thought I’d unpacked groceries from them and folded them up.
That handled, I began to wonder about the package. It was light, an Amazon box. Where was it? I searched from the porch to the kitchen, from my bedroom to the office. I didn’t see it but I didn’t panic, not me. I thought, oh well, it’ll turn up sometime. I don’t know what could be in it anyway. It was too light to be my new Kindle, which I am dying without – I wish they’d hurry up and catch production up to the orders. Anyhow, the package did show up when my husband got home, went into the office and emerged with the box.
So seriously, I’m going slightly mad. It was the kind of spacey scene I would have expected from my mom at any time in her life, but not from me. Not that she was spacey so much, but she was so busy taking care of the five of us (yes, I count my dad as one of us kids in terms of the attention he needed) that little details went by the wayside – details like where did she hide the Christmas gifts, although it was kind of fun when they turned up six months later.
Now it was time to return to the groceries and put the rest of them away, at which time I noticed the grout in the kitchen tile. When we moved in, that grout was so clean you could actually tell it was white. Now? Not so many months later? I realize that’s something we do very poorly as a couple – keep grout clean. I looked outside at the lawn while contemplating the grout, which was perfectly beautiful when we moved in, and realized we’re not good at lawns either. We’re going to landscape the backyard so we don’t have any grass, but it occurs to me we’re not so good at plants.
There’s one more thing I am not so good at while we’re on the subject (there are many but this one comes to mind). Getting up early. At the cabin last week, I woke up at six one morning and thought, I’ll get up and see what early morning is like. I found out that what I’ve always suspected was true – morning is overrated. It was quiet, calm and peaceful – but so is late night. Actually, it was tiring.
Therefore, I’m going to get more concrete counter tops so there is no grout to dirty; hire someone to do a monthly check of the yard and correct what we did wrong; and forget about getting up early unless I have a plane to catch. In which case, I’ll make an exception. I will probably continue to go slightly mad.
