Posts Tagged ‘Gwen Bell Best of Blog’

Best of Blog ’09: Resolutions


2009
12.31

My daughter and husband have just joined me at the cabin and Kim brought her computer.  I figure I have just enough time now to get in this one last topic: resolutions.  I’ve been here three or four days – I don’t even remember! And my macbook decided to call it quits.  Now I have a grey screen with a file folder and a question mark.  I did some searching on my blackberry and found out my disc is dead, or perhaps just corrupted and can be fixed.  Thank goodness it’s not my primary computer, so there is nothing there that I will miss if the data is non-recoverable.  Or maybe there it – but since I don’t remember, it doesn’t much matter.

For many years I didn’t make resolutions.  Then I read Jack Smith’s annual New Year’s Resolution.  He’s a deceased columnist for the Los Angeles Times and boy, was he ever good.  He said every year he’d make the same resolution: Try to stay alive and see what happens next.  I love it – becasue the main reason I want to live a long, long time is to see what happens next, with my family, with the world, with technology.

Nonetheless, last year I did make resolutions.  I wanted to develop a blog and a webpage but I knew it would remain one of those nebulous goals if I didn’t make a promise to myself.  Also, I resolved to keep a journal every day.  And you know what?  Basically, it worked.  I did develop trigger finger so I couldn’t write anymore (until after surgery and recovery) so I switched my journal to the computer, but I actually printed and pasted into the handwritten journal I had started.

After my blog was up, I wrote in that and not the journal.  But now I realize that they do not serve the same purpose at all.  So a resolution for this year is write in a journal every day

Another resolution I made last year was to ratched down emotional reactions.  Not that I’m not a reasonable person in my reactions to things, but I needed to get some space in some friendships, etc.  I wish I could remember back to last January and how I worded this resolution to myself, but I can’t.  I think I succeeded.

This was uncharted territory – actually succeeding at resolutions!  Could it be that I’ve grown up?  If so, why did it take me until I was 6 3?  Dumb question because actually I know the answer.  We have to continually strive for self-improvement throughout our lives.  I mean, if we really made it to where we should be, I guess we’d all be Buddhas.

So this year.  And I feel like I should hurry b/c up here in the mountains internet connections are capricious, and I want to get this posted. 

2010

Continue my blog and web page for another year to see what develops.

Write in a personal journal every day.

Learn more about photoshop (this is scary b/c it’s SO technical

Learn more about my camera (this is a scary resolution because numbers are involved)

Read every night (hard to find time to read when blogging and photgraphing and doing art, but I need input in order to improve my output.

Read two or three other blogs each day to help the input situation and continue finding members of my tribe all over the world.

Get going with Flickr.

Keep producing in the art department.

Continue with Creative Every Day.

STAY POSITIVE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

This sounds like a lot but it’s not so much.  So many of these goals are interrelated.  The real hard part – the HARDEST part for me, is that I need to develop some discipline and a routine – but I’ve never been much of a routine person.  Routines and I just don’t get along.  So I’ll have to find a way to merge my tendency to run in all directions with sticking to some sort of routine. 

To all of you out there, my friends and friends-to-be, and even those who will never visit this blog again and think I’m silly, I wish you ALL the best for 2010 with more highs than lows.  We need some lows or there wouldn’t be highs, but may you all  grow and learn and be satisfied.  And I wish for everyone that we learn to accept ourselves unconditionally and let others be who they are.

#Best09 Dec. 26 – My Aha Moment of the Year – I’m Tired


2009
12.27

It’s almost 11 p.m. and I sat down to write not realizing how late it was.  I’m morphing back into such a night person in the years since my retirement!  The main problem with that is – well, there are two. First, the world doesn’t run on my schedule – American life is a “day person.” And second, I may want to stay up but I don’t want to stay out.  There’s a certain time in the evening when I just have to get into my robe – usually hits by 8 p.m.  I guess I’m a day/night hybrid.

If I had an Aha! moment this year, it would come immediately to mind, right?  I’m glad the question gives me the option of an insight or epiphany.  I’m pretty sure I had some of both.  In fact, I know I did.  So I’ll talk about the one I remember which is the most recent.

I probably do twice as much as most people in a day.  I’m high energy and high speed (but not nearly like I used to be).  I’m saying this because it’s what I’ve been told over and over throughout my life.  I have to take this on the word of other people, because to me I’m me.  I have no idea what’s normal.  I just know me.  I’m getting more tired, however, and I knew I’d hit a new insight, or had an epiphany of some sort when my husband and I had this conversation a little while ago.

Me: Mark, I’ve been thinking about the trip we’re planning for next October.  After the wedding in Maui, I’m thinking we should just go to Thailand instead of trying to also fit in Viet Nam and Cambodia.  I’m just feeling like I don’t want to zoom around.

Mark: We’ve been spending too much money lately, so maybe we should skip Thailand and just go to Maui.

Me:  That sounds fine.

That sounds fine?  No argument?  You have no idea how unprecedented this is.  When we travel, which we both love to do, we are gone about three weeks at a time because we want to see as much as we can, knowing we won’t return.  We keep up a pretty fast pace – I mean, it works for us and we do rest in the afternoons and turn in early.  Or one of us does.  And I can’t stand not traveling.  We didn’t have any big trips this year – I had to cancel a trip to London thanks to Mr. Economy.  About drove me crazy.  I was in London last October and still had things I wanted to see and intended to this time around.

Next year we’re planning to drive Route 66 as far as Oklahoma and veer off to Florida for a soccer tournament a granddaughter is playing in.  Then we’re going to a wedding in Maui and my husband suggested since we were already part way that we should continue to Bangkok to visit friends.  Wow!  Yes, I jumped on that.  Can that much have changed in a few months?

Besides being fine with skipping Thailand, I want to go back to Costa Rica, Italy and France.  China would be good too. I want to go places I’ve been.  I’d even like to go on another cruise.  This is so unlike me – there’s a whole world out there and I’ve only seen a fraction!

It’s also possible that with the current situation of my parents, I’m just out of zip.  It’s so draining mentally.  We’re at a crossroads, and they can’t live independently but they refuse to go anywhere or have anyone in their home so we’re at a standstill.  Something has to give and probably that drains my zip so much that I’m zapped.  Maybe when that whole situation is resolved, I’ll feel like moving ahead again.

But for now, my insight of the year is I’m slowing down and ready to act accordingly. I’m tired.  And running out of money too.