THIS IS A RE-ENACTMENT OF AN ACTUAL EVENT. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.
All right, dragons were not present, nor were the Wonder Pets. But the Canon Powershot SD550 was, although it was of sound mind and body at the onset. Alas, not even the Wonder Pets could save it from impending doom.
Just the facts: We set out for the Beaujolais Fest at Valentiens. They were collecting hygiene kits for the homeless so my arms were full with the kits we had put together. I didn’t notice that my purse had slipped off my shoulder. Per my own advice, I always carry a camera in my purse.
I got in the car and my husband backed up. Uh – what was that bump we backed over? Whatever it was, we must have killed it, but to make sure, we drove forward and ran over it again. Wouldn’t you? Of course, later we laughed at the idea of going over it twice, but I digress.
It was my purse. The purse was fine. I bought it in Florence and that leather is mighty hardy. The first sign that something was amiss was putting my hand inside to a mushy mess of wet stuff. It was bleeding. No, it was my hand lotion, of course, and I’d just put in a brand new tube so it was full. Was. That’s the operative word. Once I swabbed the slimy stuff (it’s actually very nice, but felt slimy in large quantities) with some napkins, I recommenced explorations.
Glasses. I’d put them on to see better. Uh, no. Destruction. Naturally, they were new. Dime store, but new. Comb – the exactly-the-right-size purse comb I’d been carrying for decades, now missing some teeth. The Lancome lipstick – I can stick my finger in and apply it like lip gloss, but no winding up or down. Mirror – shattered.
I got to the camera. It came out in one piece and I was so relieved. I’d recently tried out some new little point-and-shoots because I wanted something lighter, but ultimately decided the SD550 was better and I’d hang on to it. I was quite fond of it, so I was delighted it was in one piece. I pushed the on button. Well, I could take you through the adventure step by step but as you can tell from the photo dramatization, the camera did not survive.
I thought I’d perform a postmortem but let me tell you, that camera is tough. I could barely pry it apart, and then I decided I might be releasing toxic substances anyhow so I’m writing up the incident report here, in front of your very eyes, and calling it a day. Or a camera.
P.S. We did have a great time at the Beaujolais Fest with friends, grape-stomping, beaujolais drinking, and fantastic food. Mmmmm.